I CAN’T DO THIS

It has been a record-breaking season of snow in Calgary. Recently, I was navigating unfamiliar residential side streets and I suddenly found myself stuck in very deep snow. I gave it some gas going forward; I tried it in reverse. I vainly tried to get some traction with the sheer ice underneath me. I searched our vehicle for some kind of implement to help me dig myself out. All I could find was an ice-scraper snowbrush. Arg!

I tried in vain – with the brush - to flick some snow out from under the vehicle. It was a losing proposition: lots of sweat and no progress. I was able to call two young men who lived nearby to come dig me out with shovels, and give me a push in the right direction. What a relief!

There are times where I take an honest inventory of myself and come to the conclusion that “I’m not able to do this on my own”. (That is the honest journey of a Jesus-follower.) It involves a great deal of humility: an admission to God that – despite my valiant efforts - I fall short. I am needy. I’m in need of rescue. I’m in need of so much from God: restoration, healing, power to turn away from sin, strength to face huge challenges, wisdom in making decisions… My own “snowbrush” just isn’t doing the job!

Interestingly though, it’s often not until I experience great storms in my lives that I am FORCED to take inventory and admit that I can’t do it on my own. We live in a society where we aspire to be self-reliant and ruggedly independent.

Since our boys died, I personally have found myself in a place of crying out to God, “I can’t do this!” It is very evident to me that I desperately need God’s help to navigate this road. It has been a regular cry of my heart to God: “Please, take control. Please, carry me. Please, give me peace and comfort that will sustain me. I need you.” That is a daily prayer and continues to be...